A Mary Sue Goes to Hogwarts
by ThePoeticWeirdo
Summary: A half-vampire girl with a dark and tragic past has just received her letter of admission to a certain school. Wow, isn't she just the greatest?
1. An Extraordinary Beginning

The first thing that Mr. and Mrs. Morris noticed upon opening their front door was not that the night air was cold for that time of year. Mrs. Morris shivered a moment later, but her attention remained firmly on the object resting on the floor of the porch. "Hello?" Mr. Morris called. He swept his gaze from side to side. "Who's there?" he shouted. Nobody answered.

"Honey? Should we...should we call the police?" Looking back at his wife, Mr. Morris could not come up with an answer. He took one last glance around at the dark shapes that made up his neighborhood at night, and then he scooped up the bundle, stepped inside with his wife, and closed the door.

Mr. Morris phoned up the authorities, and from the next room over, Mrs. Morris could hear his side of their quick, choppy conversation. She rubbed her temples and looked back at the bundle her husband had taken from the porch. Two eyes gazed back at her, large and violet. The baby squirmed, kicking hard, and a paper dislodged itself from the bundle. Mrs. Morris picked it up. "Ben?" she looked over her shoulder, seeing that her husband was finished with his call. She held up the paper with a shaking hand and he took it, turning as colorless as his wife had when she had read it the moment before.

"I barely even knew my sister," he murmured. He looked over the baby, searching for some resemblance, any resemblance. He gave a tired sigh. "I guess we'll have to sort all of this out," he reasoned.

Mrs. Morris didn't immediately follow her husband. Her eyes were still fixed upon the infant, her supposed niece and the possible new addition to her family. "Maria Susanna Morris," she quietly mused. The baby kicked softly, seeming to agree with the idea. And in spite of the fact that she knew that she was going to be spending the rest of the night sorting through records and looking through paperwork with the local authorities, Miriam Morris smiled.

 **This is how I'm spending the day after Christmas. I have no idea why, or if I'm doing any of this correctly. This girl is probably half vampire and good at everything. Peace, y'all. Anyway, here is the disclaimer as always: I don't own Harry Potter. I just wrote this fan story.**


	2. An Extraordinary Letter

Mr. and Mrs. Morris had never raised a child before, but there were things about Maria that even inexperienced parents would realize were strange. Mr. Morris didn't mind that his new daughter liked following him around once she became a toddler, but he was a little disturbed when her playful attempts at imitating his household repairs ended up working better than his best work. Mrs. Morris had her own complaints, though she kept quiet about them when speaking with other moms. After all, what would her neighbors say upon hearing that her two-year-old had broken into her uncooked steak dinner, drained the raw meat of all its blood, and then drank it?

By the time Maria turned four, she could beat her mother in both chess and checkers, outrun her father in any race (though she was extraordinarily well-behaved and never took advantage of this), and impress any of her mother's visiting friends with her charm and singing skills. Mr. and Mrs. Morris, though sometimes disturbed by their new child, gradually came to accept her quirks. And Maria reciprocated their love a thousand times over. To her, her parents were the world, and the world was a happy and safe and wonderful place.

And then school started.

"Hey, aren't you the girl who stole all the lollipops?"

Maria stopped skipping rope, searching for the person who had spoken. She focused on one girl with braided hair and a blue dress. She was pretty, though nowhere near as pretty as Maria. The beauty of her face, unfortunately, was marred by a cruel and angry sneer. Maria blinked at the newcomer, confused at why she looked so upset. "What?" she asked innocently.

"In class today, you were the kid who got all the candy the teacher was giving out."

Maria blinked. "They were for anybody who could answer the teacher's questions," she stated. "I guess I just answered everything before anybody else did. Do you want some?" she offered.

"Gross!" the girl sneered. She pushed Maria and the little girl fell. Everyone on the playground laughed. Maria's pale face turned red. The playground monitor was already scolding the bully, but the laughter hadn't stopped.

It would continue, on and off, for the next five years.

Maria threw herself onto her bed and cried. Her parents didn't understand. She _couldn't_ stand up to the bullies. They were tough and cruel and for all her perks, she seemed to have been cursed with a clumsiness that barred her from getting away from them. Nobody understood her. Her life was miserable. Gazing past the model solar system that she had received for her tenth birthday the week before, she watched the real stars. And though it was childish and she was quickly departing from childhood's comforting embrace, Maria Susanna Morris made a wish.

The next day was Saturday. Mr. Morris was staring intently at a piece of paper, writing a letter to an old colleague, and Mrs. Morris was washing dishes in the kitchen. The doorbell rang and Mr. Morris was broken out of his trance. Huffily, he got up and opened the door. An old man with a long, white beard was standing outside. Mr. Morris looked over him, studying his odd choice of apparel. "Well?" he asked.

"Good evening, Mr. Morris," the man smiled kindly. "I have something for your daughter."

"My daughter?" He started to look on edge. "What - Who are you?"

"The headmaster of a rather extraordinary school," the man smiled. "My name is Albus Dumbledore."

"I'm sorry, we're not interested." Mr. Morris started to close the door.

"This never gets easier to do. Or maybe I am just not the right person to do it." Mr. Morris paused. Dumbledore continued, a strange twinkle in his eye. "I would like to offer your daughter admission to my school, the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I believe that she is in possession of certain talents that make her an ideal fit for this school. In fact, her talents are so strong, my colleagues and I would like to take her a year early."

Mr. Morris gawked for a moment. "We're not interested." He slammed the door shut and locked it, missing the mischievous glint in the old man's eyes. While Mr. Morris contemplated calling the police to report a possible weirdo stalker terrorizing the neighborhood, Maria turned the page of the book she was reading and saw a letter. She picked it up and was surprised to see that it was addressed to her. Though she had never heard of the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, she slit it open and started to read. Her violet eyes began to widen. "Dad?" she asked. "Dad, Mom, you might want to read this."

The letter was shoved into Mr. Morris's hands. He opened his mouth to ask what it was, but as he read, his mouth stayed open with no sound coming out. When he finished and Mrs. Morris began exhibiting a similar reaction to the one her husband had given, Mr. Morris suddenly broke out of his trance and threw open the door. Dumbledore turned around, smiling. "You would like an explanation, I presume?"


	3. Reality Gets Utterly Destroyed

The moment that Maria Susanna Morris stepped onto Platform 9 3/4, any bit of sanity that the universe might have still had was destroyed. "Oh my gosh it's the chosen one!" a couple of fangirls screamed. And then wizardom in its entirety went nuts.

During the ensuing chaos that was the ride to Hogwarts, Maria started having second thoughts about the whole wizard business. She ended up in a fairly empty compartment with a boy with red hair and another with green eyes. "Hi," the first boy stated. "I'm Ron."

"I'm Harry," said the second.

"I'm Maria," said Maria. "It's nice to meet you."

"Are you the girl that that prophecy is about?" asked Ron.

"Yeah. Do you have any idea what the prophecy is even about? Because I have no clue."

"Me neither," shrugged Harry. All three children smiled. "I was actually a mite worried about my own prophecy. I'm supposed to defeat Voldemort and be special and stuff, but now that you're here, I guess your prophecy is kinda overshadowing mine, so I don't have to worry about fame and stuff. Thanks."

"Um, okay."

"Can we be friends?"

"Sure."

"Hey, will you marry me?" asked Ron. Maria blinked. "Oh right, we're all under twelve here," Ron remembered. "In that case, can we be friends?"

"...Sure..."

Draco opened the door. "Can we be friends, too?"

"I don't know you, but okay..."

"Oh! Please be our friend, too!" Hermione, Percy, Fred, Nevile, George, Seamus, Dean, the lady with the cart of sweets, the conductor of the train, and Luna all asked, shoving past Draco to squeeze into the compartment.

"...Er..."

"And don't forget us!" Dumbledore's voice boomed, having been magically projected from Hogwarts. A chorus of other voices boomed, most likely belonging to all the other teachers plus Hagrid and Fluffy.

Maria was regretting stepping onto the train.

Finally, they got off at Hogwarts. Maria took a deep breath at the sight of the castle, but after a moment, the tide of students pushed her in. At the great hall, the older students were already seated. A hush fell over the crowd and the sorting began.

Maria heard her name. She stepped forward nervously and the hat was placed over her head. The second it touched her hair, it immediately screamed, "She fits perfectly in all the houses!" Maria blinked. "Also will you please be my friend?!"

x

Maria pounded on the door to Dumbledore's office. After a moment, the elderly wizard answered. "Can you help me? I think I'm cursed," Maria complained.

"Why would you say that?" asked Dumbledore.

"I do all the spells perfectly, Professor Snape says I should be in the 7th year potions class, all the other teachers say that I should be in the most advanced classes they offer, I just became the captain of the Quidditch team, eighteen dementors flew in yesterday and wanted to kiss me because they love me so much, the Minister of Magic personally told me that I should be the next Minister of Magic, and I'm being constantly harassed by friendship proposals."

"I see..."

"Can you somehow get rid of this ridiculous curse so I can go back to normal?"

"You must first fulfill the prophecy!" screamed Dumbledore. "You must stop the dark lord who is, dun dun dun, your father!"

"Are you flipping kidding me?!" Maria shouted. "Fine, if that's what it takes to get us all out of this madness!" And with that, she marched up to Voldemort, bypassed his villainous monologue, and kicked him in the shin. Utterly defeated, Voldemort ran home and cried. "Well thank goodness that's over!" sighed Maria. "Can I be normal now?"

"Yes," said Dumbledore. And then everything went back to normal. The end.

Or is it?

Yes, it's the end.


End file.
